Really makes everything better (:
This in a long long long time …. And I don’t know how to feel, act, or say , because nothing is getting any where ….
"I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us “the Global Generation”. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering"
- Madison Montgomery, American Horror Story
#lovethesepeople #bestfriends #newyears #happy #fun #drinks #gatheredaround #love #like #goodnight #oldfriends #newfriends
And I can’t even drink because I’m on medication… But that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun and that doesn’t mean that I am not having fun either. 2014 will be a good year and it will be the year that I start being an adult and start doing all the things that I need and want to do. I’m just happy to be spending it with some people who I care about and who I know care about me as well.
But now I think I am going to say fuck it and wear sweats pants an a sweat shirt…sounds good to me.
And honestly I wasn’t even scared yesterday or today until right now. Right now with him laying next to me I just realized that I am scared and that what happened yesterday was really serious and if I didn’t go to the urgent care center when I did, I don’t know what would of happened.
Long story short I went to a wedding and decided to try something new for once. So I decided to pick the salmon out of the 4 entrees they had. I have Had salmon before and I like salmon. As soon as I finished eating the salmon, which was so effing delicious to begin with, I started to feel a little weird. At first it was just my throat that felt like a had something in it, so I just thought I had a piece of food stuck in my throat. But then I started to get a little hot and I could feel one side of my lip swell and I just thought that was piece I had a cut on my lip and the Lemon juice got into it. But then my one side of my gum started to swell and once again I just though it was because of the lemon juice . But Brittany and Shannon both said my neck was turning red and one side of my face was a little puffy. So I went to go try to find some Benadryl but they didn’t have any. As soon as I came back up stairs to the wedding I felt my throat feel weirder. Shannon said that she would take me to urgent care and it look like I had to go. So we talked the grooms dad and Steven told the groom and we left to go to the urgent care center. I was burning up, I never had this happen before and I never felt this way before. I didn’t have my wallet or insurance card on me so Steven and Shannon went back to Steve’s house to go get it. While I was sitting there I started to feel worse and worse. I was burning up more my scalp felt like it was on fire and was really itchy. I started to get hives. I was freaking out but calming my self down at the same time because that’s all I could do right there. When they finally for back I had to fill out paper work and I could barely do it because I was shaking so bad. And when the nurse came to get me I felt dizzy and even more worse. The doctor came in right away and he asked me what was wrong. I told him all my symptoms and how I felt and immediately he ordered the nurses to give me medication. One shot In each arm and then one in the butt. I think one shot was Benadryl and the other was prednisone and I also I think one was the medication In the epi pen. As soon as the medicine flowed into my blood stream, all my symptoms went away and my body felt like it was back to normal. Through the whole time I was calm and I was ready for all these shots. I just wanted them to give it to me and make everything go away. Steven kept asking what was wrong and was it an allergic reaction, he was more worried and freaked out then I was. The doctor said that my blood pressure 98 over 55 and that my heart rate was 168 and after the medication went through my blood stream my heart rate came down to 109 and my blood pressure started to go back to normal. The doctor said yes I was having an allergic reaction and it was called anaphylaxis, which means that it was life threatening and very serious and needed to be taken care of right away. I didn’t want to go to the urgent care center at first I was just going to blow it off and let it pass because I had no idea that I was even having an allergic reaction, from what I know im not allergic to anything, beside poison oak an ivy. The nurses then had to give me an Ivey and the doctor said he was calling an ambulance. I asked what the ambulance was for and he said that I have to be watched to make sure that none of the symptoms come back and my heart reset need to stay below 100. So I took an ambulance to franklin square and Steven rode with me but he rode in the front seat, and there I was just being monitored and had to have another bag of Ivey put in me and just had to lay in the hospital bed for a little less than two hours and then I was good to go home. And all I have to do is take done medicine for a week and always carry an epi pen on me. Once again I had no idea how serious this was until it happened. And now I know how serious it really is and how I am actually glad that I did have that salmon to know that I am developing allergies and I need to see a doctor and I need to get tested to see what other foods I may not be able to eat. And I have a doctors appointment on Friday and then when I see the doctors I will find out about going to see a specialist and go see them right away and figure everything out. I guess this short story is really long, but here is why I am scared now and what I learned from it.
The part that scares me now and it really seriously just hit me with Steven laying next to me, is that what happened was really serious. It was life threatening and it wasn’t something that Benadryl alone couldn’t help . Honestly at first I thought it was nothing and wasn’t worried about it even when I was at urgent care I wasn’t even worried, but now I am worried and I am scared and I understand now how serious allergic reactions are and how thankful I am that my throat did not close up. Also the scary part is the life threatening part and the part where it could have been worse than what it was and apparently it was bad, but it could have been a lot more worse. I don’t really what to say this, because I know it didn’t happen and I know the whole time I could breathe, but I could have stopped breathing if I didn’t go to urgent care when I did. And with Steven laying next to me I am thankful that I did and I am thankful that he has friends who care about him and who care about me. Shannon took us and waited there for us and she was going to go to the hospital with us but I told her she didn’t have to cause I felt bad that she had to leave the wedding. I am just so lucky to be alright and okay and to have an amazing guy by my side . He was with me at the wedding when I started to feel weird and he said if we have to leave it’s fine and he stayed in the room with me at the urgent care center, he payed for my co-pay, he stayed by my side at the hospital, he didn’t want to have to leave me when I got home, and he called me in the morning to make sure that I was alright when he knows he isn’t supposed to use his cell at work. He was even more worried then I was . I was calm and he was freaking out inside and he kept asking all these questions to the doctor because he was concerned. Seeing that made me realize that I really seriously do not want to lose this guy. He means so much to me and I love him so much and I have never had somebody who stuck my by side before like that. Like he was even more worried then me. And we were completely joking about it cause I was going to to say the same thing too but I was like I can’t believe the new year is about to be here, I was with you for 2012 and 2013 and now 2014 and he was like you almost didn’t make it to 2014, and it’s okay to say because I did, but it’s scary because there could have been a chance. With him laying next to me right now holding me, I am haut so happy that, that is what is happening right now and how I want to be able to do this every night with him and be able to lay next to him and hold him . I don’t want to lose him and the thought that I could have is really scary right now. It kind of is like an awakening inside of you where before you know you loved someone and you know that they mean so much to you and you care so much and that you don’t ever want to lose them, but now you really know and understand how you feel about them, I completely understand how I feel about Steven now. I love him to death and he does mean so much to me and with out him I would be nothing, I would be hurt and lost, it would be like losing a half of your heart, emptied out. It is hard to find someone who balances you out and who can finish your sentences for you and who knows exactly what you are thinking and I have never had that before until I met him. I have never been with someone who had such a large heart and who i feel does put me first in some situations (just because I don’t want to say that I always come first because you can’t do that in all situations). I have never felt like that until him. I am just really thankful to be here and really thankful to have Steven In My life and to have people that I can count on and who understand. I am happy to be Laying next to the one I love watching him sleep and knowing that everything is alright and that everything will be alright. And I am proud of my self for handling the situation and an adult and for keeping calm and for figuring out appointments and letting work know ahead if time and for getting all the documents that I need. You never do know what you have until it’s gone, but when you sometimes think that you might lose that something it also hits you and it hits you real hard and that there should be your wake up call and for you to hold on to the something and never let it go, because you don’t get lucky twice and that’s the truth.